Letting Go and Start Fresh?

Really Adam? That is really predictable of you to use that title.

First and foremost, maybe I should explain what my blog is all about. Well, I guess, it's a seeing blog. I feel that a blog would be able to help me out in further solidifying my abstract ideas. There are not really ideas. More like sensations. Mind you, let's keep this clean. For now. But yeah.

I wouldn't say that this is going to be about how crappy my life is. It would be about how crappy life is and how we can solve this stuff. Writing helps me calm my nerves and really finding ways for solutions.

Though, I see there is a flaw in this system. What if it gets too personal? Should I refrain or continue. Maybe a bit of both. Hey, when you study economics, you'll realized that there is no such thing as a perfect system that works only on one extreme.

So yeah, let's get a move on.

I've come to terms that I have given up in so many things that I wished I didn't. However, due to the past conflicting with the present, I don't know which to choose. And thus, I choose nothing by default. And every time if there is an opportunity to start fresh, I become weary of not the risk that I am willing to take but rather the  opportunity cost ( a lingo we use a lot in economics ) of taking that chance. As time and time again, I will always forgo the past to a large  extent to the point that I might deny that part of me from my life.

However, I've come to terms with yet another thing. The things of the past would always find its way back and bite you in the posterior. And since you didn't integrate them together to become one cohesive event that you control, it becomes this catastrophic discordance that rips your entire web of lies apart. Thus, losing everything. Yet again.

So when I say starting fresh, I really need to do something fresh than just letting go. Reconciliation of my past with the new me. I need to do that. I'll have to start now. Hopefully this blog would act as my safeguard for making sure that I keep my promises now.

A friend of mine once told me if you have conflicting realities, choose one that suits you now and play the part. He's an actor so conflicting realities is rife in his life. But right now, I'm making my own reality. One which is finally brave enough to do the right thing.

Vague, isn't it? Well, let me be a bit more specific. I am going to reconcile with the life I had during my six months in Oakland, ME.

And with, that, let the journey begin.