Through pain...

"God knows what is hiding in those weak and sunken lives

Fiery throngs of muted angels

Giving love but getting nothing back" - Birdy, People Help the People

I first heard this song when I help host a talent show in my school during my exchange. The person who sang this was just as equally beautiful as the song that she sang. 

Today, I visited my grandmother. I never knew why my father came always come at that particular hour almost everyday. It was then I saw something that taught me a few lessons in life. 

Unbeknownst to me before, that was the time where she will get her wound cleansed. The nurse would come by and set her table up and open up the bandage. Seeing the wound wasn't the hard part. I know that no matter how bad it is, it's still can be fixed. But what was the hardest was watching my grandmother going through pain from cleansing the wound. 

And there I saw a few things. As the nurse was cleaning her wound, my grandmother was in deep pain. Her only words was just the faith; "there's only one God." And she kept on muttering on those words. However, even with that, only God knows how in pain she was. Then I saw another thing, my dad instinctively sat behind her and wrapped his hands around her hands and chanted the same thing. Seeing that sent chills down my spine. The good ones. However, towards the end I only heard that she had gave up and succumbed to the pain. Once the new bandage was neatly wrapped, everything went back to normal. Her facial expression was just as before. Though, she did say that she was rather hungry.

I am beginning to understand why people hold onto faith so much. It's our superpower. We're just ordinary people but the power of faith, be it true or not, allows us to push further, endure harder and become better. I reflected at myself afterwards and realised that faith did play a major role in my recovery. I did things that I never thought would be humanely possible for me. 

However, I also learnt that faith alone is never enough. We do need the companion of others to help us get through things. Even though we may never know how bad things are for them, the least we could do was to actually try not to look sad or sympathise too much and do nothing. And I realised that maybe if you don't have to say anything or do anything. Just being there for them and making them feel less alone helps I guess. No one wants to be alone when hardships strikes.

But sometimes things are just too big. Sometimes we just give up. Sometimes we can't be strong and we have exhausted all our energy even with the companionship of other. Sometimes we just succumb. And in the end, we're not really superhuman. We're as fragile as our faith in things. However that won't stop us. In the end I realised that though my grand mother succumbed, she still wanted to become better. Thus, she not only endured for that day but for the many days to come. She will have to face those demons though it may break her soul into two. Because dying to get a better life is so much better than staying still in misery forever.