A man once said the sooner you can accept things, the easier things would be.
I accept the fact that I run constantly. That despite crying to movies, songs and books, I refuse to show the same amount of empathy towards people. Even the ones that I know.
Right now, I just don't feel like posting.
But acceptance.
I accept that I can't always run. I don't know why I fear it so much. Perhaps because the conversation we had before only made me even more tired when trying to be in that position again. Perhaps the stories that you keep reminiscing are the ones that I'm not too proud of. Or perhaps I would not bear anymore those abusive moments when you thought it was okay.
The idea is that I will need to stay. I can never escape that feeling. And I'm okay with that. Is it going to make me flinch every time? Maybe. But someday, they would have to accept the fact that you have changed.
We change because we know things now.
I don't resent everything nor everyone. But I resent the memories they bring sometimes. And it's really hard to be unable to share those thoughts.
Here's to a year to which I won't feel like numbing the pain with even more pain anymore.
I'm sorry but I still haven't fully figure this problem out yet.
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