Friday, January 23, 2015

The Dead Poets' Society. A gratitude.

It may strike you guys as odd as I've only watched the movie just only recently. Believe me or not, it has always been on my movie list.
              It was until I watched that I was left with a deep sense of melancholy. Movies that you connect at an emotional level always leave you in a bind as though you have just seen the emotions that you hold within you being purged right before my eyes.
              I have always felt that the late 80’s and 90’s showed great conviction in pop culture. In books, music and film, we can see the resonating sound of non-conformity and the importance of self-identity. I think the whole setting of political upheaval such as the collapse of the Berlin wall and the Vietnam War is the reason for such things. And yet, it was realistic in the sense that it wasn't too much. It reflected how truly we would non-conform and the pains in making the transition between the comfort of social acceptance to the uncertainty of standing up for a conviction that you are so deeply moved by.
I could be writing a whole essay about the messages and themes on the movie itself, but I won’t. By the end of the movie, I saw in myself of what I was, what I am and what I could have and what I will have. The different characters embody people at different points of their life. Making me certain that one day I would find courage, one day I would find love, one day I would be tested, one day I would pay for my acts and one day I would have to do the right thing even if it meant that I was against the norms of my society.
How can I be certain of this? Because part of it has already happened during high school.  Mr Anderson reflected so much of me when I was before. And I want to thank the first person to ever make me stand on the table, defying a belief. Figuratively I mean. The person who has challenged me to think outside of the box and getting in trouble for it. The person who pushed me to try even though I made a total fool out of myself. I want to thank him:

O captain my captain,
The thing is you left before I can actually become good. You left when I still would fumble at the pressure from those more powerful than I or at least in my mind. You left me with a lighted splinter that I was to keep ablaze for a very long time while to face the harsh wind of conformity and dogma.
I have failed so greatly and deeply to set it ablaze. I too have succumbed to the comforts. I feel that I would always be nothing more to you then just an incident in your lifetime. But you have far from failed. You set within me a fire that could not be put out. Although I wasn't brave, I solely want to be brave. And it fostered. Ever since, slowly seizing every opportunity that I could have mustered
I really thought that perhaps I could make you stay. But I realised that it wouldn't.  You are just as human as I am and you are just as entitled to romp on the land of God just like any other human being. But my inability to act faster and bolder had driven you out. Not a single day that goes by that I would forget what you have done to me. Though you still left me while I was timid, you taught me an invaluable lesson, to think. And it has brought upon me many enemies, revelations and content.
If you’re reading this, this is for you. If you are not, I wish to send this letter to you. Whether you are disgusted, honoured or even indifferent, that is beyond the point. All that matters is what I needed to say has been said. I am content. That gratitude has been known and life has been fulfilling after meeting you.
Thank you, o captain my captain.

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