It may strike you guys as odd as I've only watched the movie
just only recently. Believe me or not, it has always been on my movie list.
It was
until I watched that I was left with a deep sense of melancholy. Movies that
you connect at an emotional level always leave you in a bind as though you have
just seen the emotions that you hold within you being purged right before my
eyes.
I have
always felt that the late 80’s and 90’s showed great conviction in pop culture.
In books, music and film, we can see the resonating sound of non-conformity and
the importance of self-identity. I think the whole setting of political upheaval
such as the collapse of the Berlin wall and the Vietnam War is the reason for
such things. And yet, it was realistic in the sense that it wasn't too much. It
reflected how truly we would non-conform and the pains in making the transition
between the comfort of social acceptance to the uncertainty of standing up for
a conviction that you are so deeply moved by.
I could be writing a whole essay
about the messages and themes on the movie itself, but I won’t. By the end of
the movie, I saw in myself of what I was, what I am and what I could have and
what I will have. The different characters embody people at different points of
their life. Making me certain that one day I would find courage, one day I
would find love, one day I would be tested, one day I would pay for my acts and
one day I would have to do the right thing even if it meant that I was against
the norms of my society.
How can I be certain of this? Because
part of it has already happened during high school. Mr Anderson reflected so much of me when I
was before. And I want to thank the first person to ever make me stand on the
table, defying a belief. Figuratively I mean. The person who has challenged me
to think outside of the box and getting in trouble for it. The person who pushed
me to try even though I made a total fool out of myself. I want to thank him:
O captain my captain,
The thing is you left before I
can actually become good. You left when I still would fumble at the pressure from
those more powerful than I or at least in my mind. You left me with a lighted splinter
that I was to keep ablaze for a very long time while to face the harsh wind of
conformity and dogma.
I have failed so greatly and
deeply to set it ablaze. I too have succumbed to the comforts. I feel that I
would always be nothing more to you then just an incident in your lifetime. But
you have far from failed. You set within me a fire that could not be put out.
Although I wasn't brave, I solely want to be brave. And it fostered. Ever
since, slowly seizing every opportunity that I could have mustered
I really thought that perhaps I
could make you stay. But I realised that it wouldn't. You are just as human as I am and you are
just as entitled to romp on the land of God just like any other human being. But
my inability to act faster and bolder had driven you out. Not a single day that
goes by that I would forget what you have done to me. Though you still left me while
I was timid, you taught me an invaluable lesson, to think. And it has brought
upon me many enemies, revelations and content.
If you’re reading this, this is for
you. If you are not, I wish to send this letter to you. Whether you are
disgusted, honoured or even indifferent, that is beyond the point. All that
matters is what I needed to say has been said. I am content. That gratitude has
been known and life has been fulfilling after meeting you.
Thank you, o captain my captain.
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